I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
