I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
