sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
