I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
