Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
