Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
