My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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