she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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