If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
