dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
