If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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