you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
