I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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