I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This girl is more easily done than said...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
