the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
do herpes really smell.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
