just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
