I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
