You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
