I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
