Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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