I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
