P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
