I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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