There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
