so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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