Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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