Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
