i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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