Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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