Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
