Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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