gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
