they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize