I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
