my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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