I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
