your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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