I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
