Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize