You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
