Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize