put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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