tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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