we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
