I murdered the dance floor call the cops
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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