so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
