is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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