I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
