It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
