Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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