I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
