Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
