If that was your dad, he is hot
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
