i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
