wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
