Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
