we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
