I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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