I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
