if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
